Does anyone else feel like they need to slow this week down just a little bit?
This time of year with all the celebration, and wonder and beauty can also, quite frankly, be really rough on relationships. Spending is up, down time is, well, down with family, friends, work and possibly school all begging for you attention. Plus, your to-do list… just. Plain. Nutty.
If you’re not careful, all of the expectation that surrounds “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” can cause you and your spouse to be on totally different pages. That’s why friends I want to share with you 2 things I’m certain your relationship needs this week. And why am I so certain you ask? Well, because it’s what our relationship needs right now… as well as the relationships of just about every couple we’ve talked to recently.
These 2 Things will make your home team strong once again so you can celebrate the season in unity instead of drifting from each other on your own little iceberg…
(“Bye Buddy hope you find your Dad.”)
These 2 things are simple and contain magical powers. They can literally take 2 individuals and remind them of their love, their common goals as well as restore unity and like-mindedness to their marriage.
So are you ready for these 2 little things? Well here you go…
A Business Meeting
What? You were expecting something…more romantic? Sorry to disappoint, but let me explain.
A Business Meeting is something to put on your calendar regularly. 1-2x a month. In an ideal world, Chris and I like to have them the week of payday. But, to be totally honest, once a month has been our reality lately and it’s worked because we’re still able to cover all of our bases.
At a business meeting you come prepared to discuss your monthly budget which includes all of your normal bills, but also any additional spending you foresee for that month (ie, weddings, birthdays, presents to buy, cars that need oil changes, water heaters to fix etc..).
You also cover calendar and decide what you’re saying yes to and what you’ll be saying no to. Chris readily admits that I am the keeper of the calendar at our house and it’s true, but talking through all our commitments together helps us agree on our schedules for the week(s) so we can be on the same page. Our goal is to be home together at least 3-4 evenings a week. And talking through our calendars, commitments and things we’d like to say “yes” to on a regular basis, helps prevent “disagreements” 😀 about how we’re investing our time throughout the week.
Scheduling a business meeting also prevents 2 very unfair things:
Drive-byes: (definition) requesting information from one another at random and at unfair times. Ladies, you know how sometimes you NEED to ask your husband about that really REALLY “important” thing…during the 4th quarter…of the Superbowl…when the score is tied.
Yea, that’s not going to serve you well.
Set yourself up for a win and schedule a time to talk through all the business of running your family. It’s a lot less stressful knowing that all the “pop-ups” that assalt your brain throughout the day will find their answer at your meeting. It’ll prevent the nagging texts and phone calls throughout the day because you know, you can bring it all up at the business meeting. And you’ll both have peace and be able to gear up mentally for topics that have the potential to be stressful.
Scheduling a business meeting also prevents…
Sabotaged Date Nights! Have you ever been SO excited to go on a date with your spouse only to end up arguing over bills and schedules…I mean, yea, me neither 😉 😉 Remember when we talked Date Night Fails? (here’s 1, 2, 3 Examples!) Well that just Segway’s quite nicely into the 2nd thing your relationship probably needs this week, A Date Night!
2. Date Night:
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while then you know what a massive advocate I am of the date night. They’re not optional friend. If your marriage is a priority, and I know it is- otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this 🙂 -it needs to be invested in regularly. And the good news is, you’ve already had or scheduled your business meeting, so all the “adult-y things” don’t have to leak into the time dedicated to good old fashioned romance.
Date Nights aren’t for budgeting, or talking about your kids or debating landscaping options. They’re for connection and for fun and to remind your spouse of the phenomenal taste they have in the opposite sex. Remember when you first fell in love? Remember how easy it was just to…play?
Before mortgages, and laundry and chasing children, there was the two of you.
And if you can rediscover the two of you this season, even if it’s as simple as a cup of coffee and a walk around the mall, or cooking together and watching (i.e. making out during) a movie, you’re going to be just fine.
So give a GIANT Christmas gift to yourself this season. Get out your Calendar. This is mine…
and I heart it with all my heart. And schedule a Business Meeting and a Date Night before the fullness of this season gets between the two of you.
We have our annual Christmas Light date this week and we’ll be hopping on Periscope to say what’s up and answer your date night questions. So fun. Now, this will be my first Periscope…I know…I’m so late to this party SO if I accidently, you know film my nostril for the first 15 seconds or hit all the wrong buttons, give grace people. Give grace.